Hello, Scorpion

This morning I went to make coffee (and accidentally scared the crap out of a scorpion. He accidentally scared the crap out of me. Awesome!) I start pouring out the coffee left over from yesterday, and he goes spilling down the side of the sink, onto the drain. I'm finally starting to understand why people get freaked out when they run into scorpions. Where the hell did he come from, and what was he doing in the sink!?

There are so many good places to hang out, but some scorpions aren't bothering to find out what where they'd like to hang out, and are just sitting around where they want to be seen sitting. For those that genuinely like sitting in the sink, let me just warn you that I know a guy named Runar, and he will cut your tail off with a knife and then wash you down the sink with some lovely smelling dishwashing liquid. For everyone else: Stay away from the sink. In fact, just stay away.

Hello, Chuck

Friday I went to a book signing by Chuck Palahnuik (and accidentally took a picture of some people making out. Awesome!) There were so many scenesters that I finally understand why people who are really into music get pissy about everyone liking the one same band. I'm sure fully half of the people there only read his book because that's what's trendy.

There are so many good books out there, but some people aren't bothering to find out what they like, and are just reading what they want to be seen reading. For those that genuinely like Chuck Palahnuik, that's fantastic, and I'm glad they've found something they like. For everyone else: Why the hell does it matter?

I probably sound like a hypocrite for just being there, so let me explain. I've never read any of his stuff. It just so happens I like books...allot...in a very general all-encompassing sort of way. I like to read them, I like to admire their covers, I like the way they look on my bookshelves, and if they're signed, that's awfully nice, too. This gets set up, sitting pretty, with the rest of my collection. I'll probably pick up a reading copy and check him out, now.

Check out the picture I took with Chuck Palahnuik! I look horrible, but I like it anyway because I look like a monumental dork? Ok!

Austin Traffic Repot

Twenty minutes ago, a plane crashed about five miles away. Every now and then I hear sirens as another cop car, or emergency vehicle rushes by. My boyfriend's dad is closer yet, but he is ok and wasn't aware anything had happened. A split second of worry, then learning no one I know is hurt, it becomes just another thing that's happening to someone else.

Uterize You Creativity

I'm in a weird mood today, and ended up making this thing. I don't know where it came from, but I think it's funny so I'm keeping it.

You can see the whole thing here.

Wasting Time

Aside from photo-editing, I schlepped around on Tokyoplastic for a bit. The flash is engrossing. Be sure to check out drummachine. This site will touch you in obscene ways, and you will love it.

When it Rains, it Pours

I had to run a few errands for work, and it's beautiful out today (though decidedly humid.) It's one of those days where the birds are chirping, the sun is shining, the sky is a saturated blue, and fluffy little white clouds graze like sheep in the heavens. Beautiful... except for one very large and very angry thundercloud that storms in (ha ha) and envelopes the entire area with a grey landscape of pounding rain.

Driving out of the torrent, the bleak roads became iced purple as the sky reflected off the wet pavement, grass and trees seemed a more vibrant green, and in the distance, a quartet of SUVs crossed the intersection on a hill, looking very much like a caravan of camels on the dunes at sunrise.

And me without my camera.

Speaking of torrential down-pours, the second time I drove myself to work after getting my driver's license, it started pouring. I'd never driven in the rain before, and it came down so hard and quickly that I couldn't see a thing. I had no idea how to turn on my windshield wipers; I did know how to use turn on the wiper fluid. As I slugged along the highway at 30mph I would periodically squirt my sopping windshield with washer fluid so my wipers would kick in for two seconds.

Austin Traffic Report

I'm in the car with my friend, Walker, and...Disaster strikes!
thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump.
There's a bolt in my tire. A big. Fat. Quarter-inch bolt.

We get his car and he begins to follow me in his car to get my tire repaired; Walker calls me on my cell phone, and...Disaster strikes!
ring-ring-ring-groan-groan-ache-moan.
There is a mysterious pain in my friend's stomach. A sharp. Mysterious. Unpleasant pain.

We drop his car off into a random parking lot and I take my groan-groan-groaning friend in my thump-thump-thumping car to a clinic to have it checked out.

Fifty dollars later, we're on our way again, and...Disaster strikes!
thump-thump-thump-hisssssssssss-rumble-rumble-rumble.
I roll over to the side of the road. My tire is flat. There's a hole the size of a pencil in it left by the 'Big. Fat. Quarter-inch bolt.'

Walker, one perscription drug strong, changes my tire for me. I'm too weak to even turn the bolts, so I wobble about on the uneven ground in my strappy high heels and take pictures. (This was an after work adventure.)

Note to self: Keep a change of shoes in the car, along with a flashlight, and hand wipes.

100 Things About Me

1. I have no middle name.
2. I was an air force brat
3. I like moving.
4. I grew up primarily in Europe.
5. I've always wanted dark hair.
6. I don't like the texture of mushrooms.
7. I hate tomatoes, but I love ketchup and V8.
8. When I was young, I was very proud of having been born in England.
9. When I discovered being born on base meant I wasn't English, I considered dual-citizenship.
10. I no longer care.
11. I get girl crushes.
12. For the most part, girls annoy me.
13. I have quite an ego, but I can't handle criticism.
14. I like telling people I'm half-Colombian, because it gets a reaction.
15. I like telling them I put American cheese in my hot chocolate for the same reason.
16. I'm bilingual.
17. I'm scared of Spiders.
18. My favorite color is blue.
19. I was almost named Adriana.
20. I have issues about not having control.
21. I'm impatient and despise being late.
22. I'm addicted to chapstick and coffee.
23. I can't stand living with other people's messes.
24. I don't like saying 'no,' and often end up doing things I don't want to do. This has gotten me into trouble.
25. I love puns.
26. I'm really good at them.
27. I love doing art and creative things.
28. I gave it up when I went to college in exchange for a 'sensible' major.
29. My favorite subject is Economics, followed by Philosophy.
30. I ran track in high school and liked it.
31. I like to sprint when I'm drunk.
32. I've built playgrounds in Romania.
33. I've run from the police in Venice.
34. I once took part in a foreign language festival and won first place in every event I entered, including drama.
35. I don't like being touched or crowded.
36. I refuse to talk when I'm upset.
37. I cry easily.
38. I take things the wrong way.
39. I take things personally when they're not meant to be.
40. I'm hard on myself.
41. I like rough drunk kisses that leave my lips bruised.
42. I miss smoking.
43. I get allot of compliments about the way I move.
44. I randomly lose my balance and have to catch myself.
45. I get cold easily.
46. I've crisscrossed the US so many times, I've hit just about every state.
47. I fidget allot before I go to sleep.
48. I love to read.
49. I'm a morning person.
50. I'm an Aries/Pisces cusp.
51. My ears were pierced when I was still a baby.
52. I don't like soda.
53. If I do drink something fizzy, I try and shake out most of the carbonation.
54. My favorite ice cream is chocolate chip cookie dough.
55. I love spinach and asparagus.
56. I didn't get my driver's licence until I was 23.
57. I want to live in a city with a subway so I can take a train everywhere I go.
58. My mom calls me Tita.
59. I have no allergies.
60. I don't hold my pencil 'properly.'
61. I'm an atheist and always have been.
62. I like spirituality but not religion.
63. When I was younger I was teased for believing in evolution.
64. I'm near-sighted.
65. I've had a sewing needle go through my palm, and another break off in my finger.
66. I've never broken a bone, but I got stitches when locker fell on my head.
67. I've burned my mouth with a weak acid.
68. I used to have seizures when I was young, but they stopped on their own.
69. I've had a pet cat, dog, hamster, fish, mouse, chick, and a tortoise. When it was older, my uncle ate my chicken.
70. Sometimes I sleep face down.
71. Occasionaly, I'll go to sleep and I'll be conscious of being unable to move of breath. The doctor said it's Night Terrors. It makes me scared to go back to sleep because it seems so real it's difficult to believe I'm just dreaming.
72. I give good massages.
73. I have Hepatitis-A.
75. I like to play video games.
76. I throw like a girl.
77. I don't like it when guys are to blunt when they hit on me. It makes me feel trapped, and awkward.
78. I love airports and flying.
79. I've been buying the same kind of pen for ten years: Pilot Precise V5 Extra-Fine, in blue. I think it makes my writing look pretty.
80. I hate gardening or outdoor work.
81. I almost never paint my nails, and when I do, I paint them a metallic burnt orange.
82. I've never lived by myself. I think I'd be lonely.
83. I had my first cavity when I was 17. The dentist said it was unavoidable.
84. Only once in my life have I truely been depressed.
85. I'm not easily jealous.
86. When I was young, I would refuse to take naps. This drove my mom crazy.
87. I voluntarily took my first nap sophomore year of college, and liked it.
88. I don't own much aside from books and clothes because I throw everything away.
89. I only hold hands with people I'm willing to sleep with. This frustrates guys on first dates.
90. Porn would be more enjoyable if it wasn't so fake.
91. However, bad porn imitating serious movies or literature is really fun to watch with friends. MacBeth, anyone?
92. I don't mind shots, or having my blood taken.
93. I don't drink enough liquids. I have a glass of coffee in the morning, and that's about it.
94. I always wear my seat-belt.
95. I lived at the base of the Italian Alps for four years, and I've never been skiing.
96. I hate the words 'hubby' and 'asshole.'
97. I've always liked pale boys with dark hair.
98. I was very proud of my freckles as a kid. Almost all have faded, except one on my nose, which my dad repeatedly mistakes as a piece of dirt. That one is fading, too.
99. I think my name (Jennifer) is over used and boring, but I couldn't imagine changing it.
100. I think more girls should give video games an honest try.

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I Love my Bowl

For my birthday in March, I dragged my boyfriend and a friend of ours to a ceramics studio for a little painting project. I love this bowl more than any other bowl I've ever had in my life. Not only was I very pleased with the way it turned out, but it's the only large eating bowl in the house. It's perfect for pasta, and if I make ramen, all the soup fits in at once. I want to go again so I'll have something to eat out of when my other bowl is dirty. I think I'll do the next one a dark, bold blue, with pastel greens, and a light creamy yellow.