Closeup

Because I liked the way it came out.

Flamingos

Hooray flamingos! For Valentines, they had a slew of red plastic hearts out front, and I think they had penguins last winter, but I can't remember.

Since I stumbled on some pictures online... Austin also has Leslie. Roughly the equivalent of New York's Naked Cowboy, I'd heard of him before I ever moved to Austin. He's been running for Mayor for the past few years. Three years ago I had the dubious pleasure of seeing him in a bikini at Eeyore's Birthday. Far more startling was an overweight guy I saw painted silver wearing nothing but a thong.

Simply Smashing

I was leaving for Kinko's, and looked to the left just in time to see a big pidgeon fly into one of our office windows. This happens all the time, but he left a smear that reminds me of the outline cartoon characters leave when they run through walls.

Starballz

I really can't claim to have seen much hentai, but even if I owned a collection stretching into the hundreds, I'm sure Starballz would still rank as one of the worst. The amount of stock footage was amazing.

Every city should have something like the Alamo Drafthouse. I'm seriously considering going to the Twin Peaks 29 episode (with unlimited black coffee refills!) marathon next month.

Terminally Ill

at the airport
waiting at the airport
sick of waiting at the airport
sick of waiting at the airport in my button-down shirt and heels for four hours with bad coffee and no book and no cigarettes, because I quit, for a flight that is late, which is also a flight that was missed, for a second flight that comes much later than I'd like, making origami cranes from Starburst wrappers.

I made up a joke yesterday.

Q: Why did the trailer trash fall in love with the janitor?

A: 'Cause he swept her away.


Ha! I'm awesome.

Nerd is the Word

I finally finished painting Vlad for my boyfriend. I'm really happy with the way it turned out.

San Antonio, TX

I looked around a bit on the internet and confirmed that these are, in fact, the world's largest cowboy boots.

Texas is weird.

Lakeside Safari

At Lake Calaveras I learned that trolling isn't just something ass hats do on forums, 35mph isn't that slow, after all, and backing up too far on a boat ramp isn't the best idea. I discovered that my foundation has SPF 15, decided that knowing how to drive a Warthog in Halo makes it easier to maneuver a boat, and after being taught how to clean a fish, made the resolution never to try it myself.

Austin Bad Traffic Report

Dear Austin,

I spoke too soon. Thanks for being a bitch. At least it wasn't raining. On the bright side (haha,) I made a new friend. I spent a good 15 minutes with this particular spot of grass, and have grown strangely attached to it.

Maria-palitos, donde estabas tu?

See the bug?

Austin Traffic Report

Little House on the Road Trip

Dear Austin,

This weekend I took a trip to Houston. I would like to appologize for any bad thoughts I ever might have had about your traffic. I would like to confess that upon starting my little car/driving series I like to call the "Austin Traffic Report," I had briefly considered calling it the "Austin Bad Traffic Report." I thought it had a nice ring to it. This was petty and spiteful of me. You have very nice traffic. I'm sorry.

The only token I managed to collect of my trip was a slightly blurry picture of an inexplicably small house along the way. Perhaps it's a shed? Now that I think of it, I still have the card pass to the hotel room at the Doubletree. I suppose I can keep it along with my train pass from Japan. They can sit around and be cards together. It'll be great.

Austin Traffic Report

$20 gets me half a tank. Ugh!